Both my mom and my husband have stage 4 cancers. My life has been crazy for two years now and I’m trying to keep working or I won’t get paid. It has been so stressful and emotional.
My mom’s cancer has spread throughout and she has now chosen to stop treatment and started palliative/hospice care path. She’s only doing radiation for pain. My husband has had intensive treatment and is now prepping for a bone marrow transplant.
My life is full of appointments for both of them plus a legally blind daughter who cannot drive and has two babies. I take them to all of their appointments. It’s all been so hard. I’m not complaining, just my reality. I love them all.
Wow, not sure how you do all that! I care for my husband who has stage 3 bladder cancer. He is one year post renal transplant. Our son is disabled has bipolar and seizure disorder also doesn’t drive. I work full time as well. We have no family around. It is difficult, I pray a lot. I will add you and your family to my prayers
With such a full plate I hope somewhere in there you are able to carve out a few minutes each day for some self care…. So very difficult. Wishes for continued strength and for the healing of your loved ones.
You don’t realize how “good” you have it until you read a story like this. I am sorry you are suffering. You’re not complaining. You’re venting. I’m sorry you have to go through this!
My mom is not as progressed yet but we will find out Friday what stage of cancer she has. My mother also has a traumatic brain injury, leukemia (with her platelets) and is legally blind herself. My brother has autism but lives in a group home.
I do literally everything I can for her. The struggle is real, you feel alone at times, you want to cry and feel almost bad when you have a good time (sometimes I know I do). I feel like people give the word burden a bad name but it can be sometimes. Hang in there! I’ll be thinking of you!!
I definitely understand your life. I have 2 daughters, one has type 1 diabetes and gastroparesis and the youngest has crohns and gastroparesis. Grandson is autistic and granddaughter has bad allergies and asthma.
I used to work fast food so in case any of them had an issue I was able to help. Last year my husband had a stroke leaving him with right side paralysis, I’m now his 24 hour caregiver. The youngest daughter, for the most part, has gotten her conditions under control, the older daughter recently got a new device to help with the diabetes.
Before husbands stroke I was either taking someone to the ER, or watching the grandkids so they could go, every month. We still watch the granddaughter full time (now that schools out) and she’s been very understanding and helpful with husbands care and schedule. Still live by God first, Family second and then work, finances and whatever else can follow
Oh my you have your hands full. I care for my Mom who is 92. Well she just moved into a nursing home but is still very demanding with my time.
I’m thankful for the help for her physically but it’s the guilt she makes me feel all the time that’s so tough, not spending enough time there every time I visit it’s anything but pleasant. I have done all the care before that and had to get her qualified for Medicaid to get to her place now. Medicaid in Ohio sucks. Difficult process.
I also have an adult son with autism who needs a lot of care and I work full time. I’m tired and depressed and anxious every day. Prayers for your continued strength. God Bless.
Please try not to feel guilty. I had cared for my mom for 5 years before we had to place her in a nursing home. My husband was also sick, so I went to the NH twice per week, spending at least 3 hours each visit.
My mom complained that I didn’t visit often enough, so for the next month, I went once per week. She got the hint. Later, I stepped up my visits again, but my mom never complained again. Sometimes, the people you love most will try to manipulate you.
I am in the ER with my husband, for the fourth time. As always he has aspiration pneumonia again. They have told me to lock up the fridge so he can’t sneak food. He has esophageal cancer and is on a feeding tube.
Total NPO. He sneaks food and drink when we are asleep. He has frontal lobe damage so he doesn’t understand. Yes is hard. But you have me beat. Good luck to you.
I also have had this situation. It’s very tiring and stressful. I totally understand. I know your husband and Mom appreciate you so much. You are an amazing person. Do you get any help?? Siblings?? I wish I could come over and help you!!
Go to HR and get a Family leave form. They won’t deny you. If your husband is a veteran call your local Veterans administration office. They can give you 20 hours of home health care free.
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