My husband was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia Feb 1st. We moved from Colorado to Texas to get treated there. And because we had zero family in Colorado. I have family that lives about 1.5 hours away from the hospital and his family is 7 hours away in Louisiana.
We have 3 children ages 4,5 and 10.. they are currently staying with his parents in Louisiana. But they are ready to come and live with us again. We haven’t lived with them since February because my husband started chemo as soon as we got here feb 4.
My son texted me last night saying how much he misses me and wishes dad was never sick. We have been in the hospital since the 28th of May for stem cell transplant. I was wanting to go see them since it’s been a month last time we physically saw them.
We missed our youngest daughter’s birthday last weekend because he wasn’t doing too well and I couldn’t leave him alone. Now he’s feeling a bit better, but every time I mention about leaving to go see the kids my husband says “Go since you don’t care that I’m here!”
I’m the only one that can take care of him since all of his family is far away. And his parents have their own health issues. We didn’t bring our car to the hospital because parking is ridiculously expensive. So I’ve been stuck here.
I feel like I’m starting to get depressed. And feel resentful towards him. I want our life back I want him to be healthy again but I know we won’t have that for awhile. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do this anymore but this is just the beginning..,any advice on how not to feel this way towards him?
I know none of it is his fault but deep deep down I feel like it is. I feel like he’s worse than a child now. He’s never been sick and when he would get sick he would go to doctor appointments on his own.
My babies miss me sooo bad. My oldest texted me late last night and sent me a pic saying that our youngest had just fallen asleep. That she wanted me. She uses him as a safe blanket. And I feel sooooo freaking bad. I feel like telling his mother and father to come take care of him so that my kids can have their own mother back (since they can no longer have their father).
His dad is dealing with some health issues right now so I doubt they would be willing to drive 7 hours. I want them to come live with us again like now but my husband doesn’t want them to. Since we’re still at the hospital and when he gets discharged we would be coming to see his doctor everyday for a few weeks. They do have support groups here once a week but I just can’t make myself go. I don’t like talking about my feelings or what’s going on.
Has he always been like this? as a parent I can’t imagine having to choose my children or my spouse. guess who I would choose. stay strong. can you get a live in caregiver or a nanny? something has to give. I am torn also, I live with my parents my dad has many health problems including terminal cancer and my mom is paralyzed on her left side. And I have a 16 month old.
I understand what you are going through and thankfully my parents understand that my son comes first and my son understands he doesn’t get me 100% of the time. I will pray you figure out how to make it work for you, him and the children